I was watching a TV show recently and there was an engaged couple hoping to win money to pay for their wedding.  The thing that I found remarkable and somewhat saddening is that they couldn’t say when the wedding was going to be.  They also  stated that they had been dating for 15 years….15 years!! What is taking them so long to say I do? I have an idea…would you like to hear it?

The issue that this couple and many couples in society face is the ability to effectively date and then transition into what is called a “courtship.”  The dating and courtship of a pre-matrimony relationship are two essential components in how a man and woman will enter into the institution of a marriage. Utilizing these components out of context and even out of order has been the reason for such a high divorce rate to date. Everything has a reason, a purpose for it’s existence. It’s obvious that relationships have a purpose (or at least they should have one).

Since dating is Step 1 in the process of taking the journey to matrimony, let’s examine it’s purpose. Dating is for the sole purpose of establishing chemistry with someone (of the opposite sex) who has a desire and passion to eventually become engaged and to one day be married.  The chemistry generally consists of physical and emotional attraction (minus sexual intercourse). Often times it’s the connection of having the 1. same spiritual beliefs. Also, both persons identify that 2. he or she is willing to be transparent with his or her (non-verbal & verbal) communications.  There are many other elements that identify an individuals intent for the success of ones relationship. These two represent key factors in building the relationship while dating.

After the establishment of the dating phase, the young vibrant couple now prepares to transition into Step 2…”courtship.” Courtship has a very significant purpose in the journey to Holy Matrimony.  The goal of entering into a courtship is to obtain a pre-marital agreement (based on love & trust, not on assets & fear) by way of a betrothal which is the biblical term for a pre-nuptial agreement. Now, before you freak out about the words that I’m using, consider first their meaning. (Pre-)  simply means to do something before (nuptial) is the wedding ceremony itself. When you put them together, you have something done before the marriage ceremony. Society has used the words to protect assets, I provide a different perspective on how to enter in to the institution of a marriage. One that I would say is an emotionally and mentally healthier way.

Now, let me finish explaining to you the process of the courtship as a finish up. Courtship is when both parties are willing to get educated and trained in the six core perspectives (that I educate on) of how a husband and wife operate and function in an institution of marriage. The process of courtship is executed in a particular time frame because the goal is to pursue purpose in the relationship with time and efficiency while eventually ending up at the altar. It shouldn’t take a couple 15 years to decide if they are going to be together…..if proper training and education is in place.