Senior Chaplain Jonathan Grigsby

Keeping it Real. Is a prenup really necessary for a marriage ?

The 21st century has evolved into a time where couples refuse to marry without the asset protecting standards of society’s current prenuptial agreement.  Today’s prenup is established on the potential failure of the marriage and how the legal matters of asset allocation will be handled. “We leave the marriage as we came into it.”

The prenup process is one where the couple will do a lot of paperwork, invest time and money (in attorneys fees) putting together an agreement for the sole purpose of protecting the stated assets.  The idea of the current prenup is to successfully avoid serious financial loss in the event of a divorce.  Notice that society’s prenup is more focused on the asset protection in the event of a divorce? The current agreement not give light to how these two precious individuals may successfully function in an institution of marriage avoiding a divorce. Out of the six core perspectives that I have been given the Grace from God to educate and train on, I’ve noticed that the current prenup used only identifies with one aspect and that is the area of the individual’s assets.

I have a different perspective on how a “pre-nuptial” agreement should be used.  The perspective I’m speaking of is not based on failure.  This agreement doesn’t evaluate how we will end the marriage, but it is based on what we will do and agree upon for the happiness and long term success of our marriage.  I’ve learned that the Universe will give you what you ask for, so doesn’t it make sense to focus on the success of the marriage and not the failure? My rendition of the 21st century prenup is coined the “Fellowship Pre-Nuptial Agreement” and is based on two individuals establishing the love that they say they have for each other on paper with a well thought out plan of execution that revolves around the six core perspectives of how a marriage institution should function.

Let’s examine the academics of the term PreNuptialAgreement.  Pre – something done before; necessary; a pre-requisite.  Nuptial – ceremony of a marriage.  Agreement – harmony, whole, covenant.  My pre-nuptial agreement concept is for the success of the marriage using the technique I’ve also coined “The Art of Koinonia (Communication/Fellowship).” This concept is designed to evaluate and identify irreconcilable differences. Once these differences are identified, the next step is to create harmony with them so that they will never become irreconcilable.  Irreconcilable differences are conflicting beliefs and ideals that cannot be brought in agreement from one of more of the six core perspectives that I talk about in previous blogs.

You may ask, Sr. Chaplain Grigsby, what is pre- or necessary for an effective pre-nuptial agreement?  Education and training on the six core perspectives.  Once you are educated; you then establish your learned knowledge in writing by drafting an agreement founded on the principals of structure, order, love and fellowship driven by the six core perspectives for a functional marriage. The question I submit to you is….do you want to focus on failure or happpyness and success ?

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